i am almost afraid to do the math, but i know i cost a lot of money to maintain and i just can’t afford me anymore. woman have to look good, smell good and dress nice. this cost money, who is going to help pay for this?
i’m sure someone (besides you or me) is benefiting from the upkeep.
well, if you are married, maybe your husband could pay for your maintenance, but i’m almost certain that if he knew what it cost to be a woman, you might turn up missing. this is why some women hide what they buy and sneak clothes into the house.
what if you are single with significant other? well if you do have a significant other, maybe he could pay for it, but what happens if you break up. he’ll say something juvenile like i want all of my stuff back, then what? you’re back to not being able to afford yourself.
here’s my solution to satisfy women everywhere: government-funded centers for women.
these centers would be stocked with monthly care packages, nothing fancy. i’m thinking a bag filled with a manicure and pedicure kit, deodorant, tweezers, razors, makeup, sanitary napkins, pantyhose, vaseline, lotion, cotton balls, night cream and a coupon for a free pair of shoes and a haircut.
yes, i learned to do many things myself that women pay to get done to save time and money or i may not get it done at all and just look a mess. there are also other necessities such as shoes that can walk you right to the poor house, literally.
guys, you know women need a lot of shoes. we need the heel, the pump and the loafer in at least 3 colors for each pair. shoes cost $50-$100 a pair.
do you want to be able to run your hand through your woman’s hair, successfully? that will cost at least $120 – $150 a month for a basic wash if done weekly.
we have to smell good too? yep, woman cannot live on soap alone! personally, i import my fragrances from france and that’s not cheap and no one is complaining but me. the fragrance has to fit the activity and my mood.
clothes? we need outfits to match the occasion. there’s the mall outfit, the exercise outfit, lunch with the girls outfit, work clothes, dinner clothes, where does it end? i try to keep my look conservative, simple and free of fads and designer labels, but it’s still expensive to look like plain jane.
i won’t even go into the time it takes to put all of this together, i just know, i can’t afford to be a woman anymore, but if anyone has a solution on how to be a woman on a shoestring budget, contact me.
